The 5 hidden habits that are killing your confidence!


I like to imagine this person that I’ve put up on a pedestal slowly shrink until they can fit into the palm of my hand.

Every day we do some great things for our confidence and sometimes we do things which aren’t so good, but the problem is we don’t always know which one is which.

It’s not as simple as it might seem. So let me break down the 5 habits that you should eliminate right now!


1.Settling for things you don’t really like
I used to spend a lot of time feeling trapped in a job wishing that I could escape. But I never did escape, instead, I would beat myself up inside, I would tell myself I was trapped and had no choice,

All this really did was break down my confidence further until I hit rock bottom. It wasn’t until I had nothing to lose that I started to do the things that I wanted to do before, like quit my job.

After quitting my job, I began to take control of my life, slowly steering it in a direction that felt right. This act of defiance, in turn, gave me confidence.

2. Overthinking
This might sound obvious, but have you ever been waiting for a job interview and going over and over the meeting in your head? You were ready for any question but so severe that although you had all the answers, it wasn’t the relaxed confident you in the job interview,

One strategy is not get wound up tight before a big event. Instead of being so serious, find a way to be happy before the event. This for me is listening to a certain piece of music that I have positive associations with, so I can’t help but smile.

3. Needing other people’s approval                                                                             This often happens with business meetings where we build up the other person’s social status. We put them on a pedestal.

This makes us look needy and being needy is not an attractive look. But It’s important to remember that this deal is not the only opportunity in the world and that every door that closes creates an opportunity for others to open.

One thing I’ve found that works is visualisation- I like to imagine this person that I’ve put up on a pedestal slowly shrink until they can fit into the palm of my hand. Change your beliefs and limitations and the world changes with you.

4. Failing by not trying                                                                                              Recently I was at an Improvisation class and found myself not taking it seriously. I was not trying as hard as I could, hoping that the others wouldn’t see me as rubbish but hopefully instead see me as someone who just is too cool to try.

It didn’t work.  I looked super-rubbish and it wasn’t helping me on my self-development journey (the reason I was there).

It isn’t until you put your 100% effort in that you can’t fail. My purpose for being there was to improve, to use it as a stepping stone. When I finally tried, I stopped failing and I started growing.

5. You don’t have a voice
Have you ever been in a situation where you’re with friends and you’re trying to decide which restaurant to eat at, and no one can make a decision?

You say something like “I don’t care’’ when asked. It wastes time and, most importantly, it disconnects you from your confidence. Leaders are known to be confident and for being decisive.

I used to be an “I don’t care” type of person but, without even realising it, I was suppressing my personal growth. To be more confident it works so much better if you express your opinion as this makes you feel confident like a leader.

Just saying I would prefer to go to x, will help you build your self-esteem. You don’t have to go to your choice of restaurant, it’s not about overpowering the group. But it’s most essential to have had your voice heard!

It wastes time and, most importantly, it disconnects you from your confidence.’



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