Heres the Truth About Emotional Intelligence!


Emotion, which is suffering, ceases to be suffering as soon as we have a clear picture of it.

– Benedict Spinoza

 

We are often taught that IQ is the critical factor in traditional forms of success, the more intelligent you are, the more right decisions you will make, the more valuable you become in turn leading to you achieving success in your chosen field, right?

Wrong studies show the opposite!

According to the Oxford Dictionary, Emotional Intelligence is ’the ability to understand your emotions and those of other people and to behave appropriately in different situations’.

So according to it definition its related to empathy so how does this help you and relate to your success?

Impulse control

Lets first look at a study that tested children on their ability to sit in a room with sweets on the table the children were told to not touch the sweets.
They were told there would be a bigger reward in the future of more sweets if they left them alone while the adult left the room.
, some of the children ate the sweets, and some didn’t, the ones that didn’t be more in charge of their emotional brain. The experimenters followed the children for as they got older and found that these children were more successful than the sweet eaters.

The ability to control emotional impulses meant that these children learnt the importance of making short-term sacrifices for long-term gains!

We see this played out in the entrepreneur world where entrepreneurs might sacrifice weekends and Game of Thrones binges for the hope of a better quality of life in the future or a to make a change in the world!

Weak immune systems

When we go through times of stress, this is caused by our emotional reaction to the events around us. For instance, a negative situation for one person say losing a job might feel like the end of the world and that person would feel tremendous stress, to another person the same event might cause them to feel no stress as to them it becomes an opportunity for a new adventure.

While losing your job is a significant life event small things can have the same effect one common one is road rage where perfectly sane people get extremely angry for very little or often no real reason at all!

How to improve our emotional intelligence

Self-talk

you are doing it all the time every day you have an extraordinary amount of thought most you aren’t even aware of, but there lies the problem if you aren’t mindful of our thoughts how can you make ensure that the thoughts you have are positive ones.

I know from personal experience that when I have experienced shyness or a lack of confidence in the past, it has come from my own negative self-talk.

Why we do it is crucial, for me, it was my ’emotional brains’ way of trying to protect me from a seemingly life-threatening situation, such as being rejected by the person I wanted to ask out.

It took a while for me to really see the thought patterns I was repeating, continually building more and more neural pathways of the wrong sort was down to me.

I had to change my way of thinking, but how?

 

Heres just some of the ways I found helped me to become less emotionally reactive

I changed my environment –

This included the negative news media we often get addicted to as its so full of emotive subjects that the emotional side of the brain wants to hear as it sees it as, ‘life-saving’ information. The truth is it’s not relevant to our life or its just repeating the same thing, yes its important to know about climate change but once we know we must act, don’t keep watching the news it won’t change unless we change!

Become a creator instead of a consumer-

Use social media as a tool, help to educate others rather than consuming mindless rubbish.

I removed my self from negative people-

You know those people who always have something to complain about but don’t make any effort to change!

I became more mindful-

Mindfulness and meditation when practised acts like a gym session for the brain, it builds the muscle of the mind that oversees your thoughts and then decides which ones it wants to hang onto or which ones to just let pass.

 

Do you have any ways that you can share that you find help with Emotional intelligence?

As much as 80% of adult “success” comes from EQ.

— Daniel Goleman